"If I Say In 90 Years, Will You Live For Me?"

Telling stories through my lens. [Episode 2]

I hope you never get to read this. Nah, scratch that, I hope you get to read this.

This month marks a year since I last heard from you. I sent a text months later, but you never responded. Often times, I ask myself why we fell off. Is it Japa and its time factor, adulthood, or our mutual friends?

You know, whenever I remember where I was and when I first saw you, I still laugh so hard. I remember the sound of your shoes making their way to the front row of the hallway and when your dad picked you up at the end of the day, we weren’t even friends at that point. I'm still not sure why, but I do remember clearly the first time I meet people who would later play a significant part in my life.

I wish I had known that my only opportunity to see you in a few years would be that day. Even though I haven't seen you in a long time, it annoys me to know that you returned sometimes last year, and you never contacted me before leaving again. I'm still very mad at you, and I have a lot of questions. But I guess you were right then. "Even the ones you hold dearly take advantage of you when you care too much." Remember that those were your words?

Photo by Kaylyn Mok on Unsplash

If you ever get to read this…

I want you to know that just because we don’t talk any more, doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. I figured you might say I ghosted but that was never the case. This piece's title serves as a reminder that you still owe me; no, I haven't forgotten or gotten one. I hope you still want me to stay healthy for this particular reason, and if you ever get a chance to read this, I'd like to hear your side of the tale.

Honestly? I miss being your personal paddy.

Once again, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.

Lol, friendship breakups are probably the worst, fuck!