On Peer Mentorship; Look Around Too
Letters from May.
One of the primary reasons I created a space for myself (…and you) on Substack was to document my experience navigating my twenties; the process, the journey, and all the things I am learning, relearning, and unlearning along the way.
(Bruhh… it’s honestly crazy how fast time flies because the age I’m in now genuinely feels like the beginning of the extremely serious phase of your twenties.)
Anyway, today, we’re going back to the roots a little, and I want to talk about something I don’t think gets enough attention:
Peer Mentorship.
I consider myself quite lucky to have a few close friends, several good friends, and a wide network of acquaintances. And if I’m being honest, one of the reasons I’ve met and connected with so many people is because, beyond being naturally friendly and somewhat likable, I’m also very resourceful.
Over the years, I’ve found myself surrounded by brilliant, resourceful, and genuinely valuable people. People who, in different ways, have helped me navigate life.
Now, there’s a kind of mentorship where you’re constantly looking upward; searching for someone further ahead to validate you, guide you, and reassure you that you’re on the right path. And to be fair, that kind of mentorship matters.
But it isn’t the complete picture.
There’s something deeply beautiful about surrounding yourself with people who are right there in the process with you. People who are also ambitious, hungry, confused, trying, failing, growing, building, healing, and figuring things out in real time. People who are “in it” just like you are.
I think about the different circles I belong to and all the things we’ve walked each other through: faith, business, family values, heartbreak, finances, relocation, grief, interviews, relationships, finding love, career growth, change, uncertainty, and everything in between. The full, messy, beautiful spectrum of life.
Lately, I’ve found myself looking forward to long conversations with some of my circles because there is always something to take away from them. Something worth listening to. Something worth holding onto. Something worth learning from.
And more often than not, over the past few years, my peers have been a reliable source of encouragement, information, wisdom, opportunities, and guidance, second only to the Holy Spirit.
Some of the biggest opportunities I’ve received came through peers. People who were figuring life out at the same pace as me but still thought of me enough to mention my name in rooms I wasn’t in.
And I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about peer mentorship.
Your peers see you in your rawest form. They know the flawed, unfinished, still-becoming version of you, and somehow, they still choose to believe in you anyway. Sometimes, they even see versions of you that you haven’t grown into yet. They call those versions out gently, repeatedly, and lovingly until eventually, you become them.
So if you’re a young person reading this and actively seeking mentorship, yes, look for people who have gone ahead of you. Learn from wisdom, experience, and guidance.
But don’t only look up.
Look around too.
Surround yourself with people who are growing alongside you. Invest in your friendships. Support your peers loudly. Celebrate them genuinely. Recommend them in rooms they’re not in. Speak well of them behind their backs. Build together. Grow together.
Because sometimes, the people walking beside you become some of God’s greatest instruments for shaping your life.
And years later, when you look back at your twenties, you may realize that some of the people who changed your life the most were not always mentors with titles or platforms, but friends who simply chose to grow with you.
I hope you learnt one or two things.
See you next time. 🌸