Worth the Risk

Letters from May.

Surprisingly, I’m going to start this newsletter by putting you in a love-song mood.

LOML by Savy Henry has quietly become one of my favorite songs recently. There’s just something about that song that perfectly matches this current phase of my life; soft, reflective, hopeful… and slightly uncertain.

Anyway.

Over the last few weeks, one particular question has come up repeatedly in conversations with friends:

“So… how do you feel now that school is no longer in your way?”
Or the more terrifying version:
“What’s next?”

Interestingly, every time I answer that question, I find myself talking more about my fears and worries than my excitement.

Which usually surprises people.

And maybe before I continue, this is a good place to mention that I finally signed out of university after spending seven years on what was supposed to be a four/five-year course. No, I didn’t have carryovers. Life simply happened; COVID, ASUU strikes, and all the beautiful interruptions Nigeria likes to gift students.

For your eyes only 😌🙂‍↔️

But today is not for my graduation testimony. I’ll save that story for another day.

Back to the question.

Most people around me have always known me as “the active one.” Even while in school, I was constantly doing something; building my brand, volunteering, interning, working in communications, media, marketing, event spaces… just always moving.

So when I speak with uncertainty about the future, they almost immediately begin to remind me of all the things I’ve already done. They tell me I have “star qualities.” That I’m hardworking. That I’ll do well wherever life takes me next.

And truthfully?
I agree with them.

But somehow, there has still been that tiny fear sitting quietly in my chest. That feeling where I am reminded of that something that feels like is standing in the way of the life I truly want for myself.

🎶Hallelujah forever- Olamiji Rasheed.

Such a powerful song, you should put on repeat this week.

Tonight, though, I think something shifted for me a little.

After service today, I was having a conversation with some people in my unit at church. We were joking about something, and I casually mentioned that I wasn’t going to do a particular task, (honestly, it feels more like punishment than assignment and I have my reasons for not doing it because to me, it’s quite unreasonable🫠) and I joked that maybe this would finally be my first time being sent to the probation group.

Everybody looked at me in shock.

“You mean you’ve never been removed from the main group before?” (Almost 80% of my teammates have been to probation atleast once)

And right there, something clicked in my mind.

I have actually been diligent.

For context, serving in church is one of the few commitments I’ve consistently maintained for over a year straight. Most other jobs or opportunities in my life lately usually have contract timelines, but this one has been continuous. And if you know anything about media/SM units specifically where I belong, you know there’s almost always one form of chaos or another happening every week…hahaha, trust me we have our best moments as well. (Lmaooo…I sincerely hope none of my leaders are reading this.)

But somehow, despite all of that, I have shown up consistently.

And tonight, for the first time in a while, I paused long enough to acknowledge myself for it.

Maybe my friends are not wrong after all.

Maybe I really do have star qualities.

Maybe I am dedicated.
Maybe I am excellent at what I do.
Maybe I really am resourceful, dependable, committed, and a great teammate.

And honestly, maybe “best behaved student” wasn’t just a random primary school award I received back then after all. Apparently, the behavior followed me into adulthood.

The beautiful thing about all of this is that none of it came from favoritism or special connections. I’m barely even close to most of my leads in ways that would make people assume bias. I simply try to show up well wherever I find myself.

And perhaps this newsletter will someday find its way to a future employer, collaborator, or client.

So let me hold your hands while I say this:

I have a track record of excellence.

I care deeply about the things I commit myself to. I care deeply about the things entrusted to me.

I show up with dedication, intentionality, and heart.

So when I say you have absolutely nothing to worry about with me, I hope you believe it.

Because truly, I am very good at what I do.

(Ending this newsletter with an oldie from Simi-Smile For Me. It’s currently playing through my Spotify as I write this final part, and there’s a line that says, “Take a chance on me, don’t you believe I am worth the risk?” Honestly, it feels like the perfect ending to everything I’ve been trying to say in this piece.

So yes… take a chance on me.

😉)